So many people I know have a fear of failure. They can’t see how everything is going to work and as a result they are scared to get started with things just because of the chance of failure. I understand, no one wants to be known as a failure, and you don’t have to be either. We’re not going to talk about how to avoid failure, but how to make sure that failure
Where does this fear of failure come from
I think that our upbringing in school has something to do with it. “F’s” were bad, they were the cause of butt whippings, jesting from other students, the thoughts that we ourselves may be dumb. We wanted to avoid it at all cost. It said something about who we were. As a result we grew up fearing “failure” and if something had the chance of failure we would rather do something else; perhaps something that we can get an “A” in.
But here’s the thing, in life, we are not in the same type of “school,” things work a little differently. In school a failure didn’t mean that you were in a process, it meant a conclusion, it didn’t help you determine what you needed to learn, it was there to make a statement about you (or so you felt). Life is just a little bit different (okay a lot different).
I remember writing papers in school, handing it in, and receiving them back with lots of red ink. I got the grade, and that was the end of it. Below I’ll share with you why I feel like life does the opposite.
First thing separating failure from you
When you put your hand to do something, you are never a failure. While the program, the product, the business, may not have succeeded, you have, because you put your hand to something and were faithful enough to follow it through. If you can only bring yourself to accept that you are not a failure just have a current failed project you can then remain motivated to continue on with whatever it is you do.
Second thing failure is a part of the process not a conclusion
In school Failure was the conclusion of the matter. IN life, it’s just part of the process to success. In school we had one shot to get it right, and the fewer attempts we made at getting it right, the better. In life, it’s all about growth, you are in the process of doing something, and you can go back over and revise it as many times as possible. It’s as though a school teacher is actually there while you had in the paper, and doesn’t stop grading you until it’s all right.
Remember above I mentioned how the grading of an assignment went? Well imagine that there were a teacher that gave you the paper back and allowed you to make as many corrections until you got an A. That’s more like the real world, we get feedback from the real world we live in, we learn how to make adjustments, and as long as we keep revising, we can move from failure.
Third thing, Failure is one of life’s teachers
There are things that we can learn as we continue on through failure. If you can learn beyond the what you perceive as the failure, then that’s all that matters. The only time when failure occurs is if we fail to learn. And this failure to learn shows a failure even if the product, event, project actually went well.
If a person does something well and it succeeds, but still chooses not to learn from anytihing, then that thing is a failure. Success is found in the process and progress, not in the events themselves, and if you are always learning and moving forward, then you are always succeeding.
Never allow the prospect of failure to hold you back, instead “fail” hard, and “fail” often and learn much.
P.S. this isn’t against school, this is just saying that we have to learn to think differently than our experience. It’s not that school needs to change in this scenario, it’s that we need to change the way we think.
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